The following is a guest post by the Rev Dr Peter Mullen, Hon. Chaplain of The Freedom Association.
Every week, it seems, there is another TV documentary or a special supplement in a national newspaper to tell us the shocking news of the “epidemic of mental illness among young people.” Even Prince Harry and Prince William wax all teary eyeball and harp on the same theme. The sages in the mass media express puzzlement about the causes of this epidemic. But really they should not be surprised. The Jesuits had a saying, “Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man.”
I offer you a contemporary variation on this brainwashing theme: “Give me a child until he enters his teens and I will guarantee to deliver him to you completely bonkers.”
If you follow carefully the programme I am going to prescribe, the teenager will also most probably emerge factually ignorant, intellectually incompetent, emotionally retarded, morally perplexed, obese, on the way to diabetes, borderline autistic and profoundly unhappy.
First, give him (or her) a stupid name such as Jayden, Waylon or Kayleigh – but don’t have him christened.
Send him to a state primary school but there refuse teach him the times tables, which are demonstrably the best way to master simple arithmetic. Avoid the teaching of phonetics, and you will be pretty certain to produce a child who can’t read. The Department of Education itself boasts its great success here as, by its own reckoning, 43% of children leave school after eleven years of compulsory state education unable to read, write and count efficiently – thus rendering them utterly incapable of finding a worthwhile job and at the mercy of every piece of political propaganda which comes their way.
Encourage children to “express themselves” without giving them any emotional education concerning which feelings are good and which bad.
Inculcate narcissism by encouraging “self-esteem.”
Remember: children are never ill-behaved or naughty; rather, they are suffering from ADHD and must be dosed with the appropriate chemicals.
From the age of five, confuse him or her by instilling the option of homosexuality. And compound this confusion by telling little boys they can become little girls, and little girls can become little boys.
Cut them off from reality by teaching them nothing about how we got our parliament and our laws, about how the medieval monasteries created the universities, the schools, the hospitals and the hospices.
Most importantly at this point, make sure they definitely come to know nothing about the Classical-Judaeo-Christian tradition which formed European civilisation.
For traditional schooling, substitute political propaganda. Teach them about the slave trade – while omitting to mention that it was the British parliament which abolished it and the Royal Navy which policed the ban. Tell them about Mary Seacoal and Martin Luther King. Cultivate in them the shibboleths Equality, Diversity, Antiracism and Multiculturalism.
Leave them in no doubt that the chiefest of sins is that of global warming denial, closely followed by Islamophobia.
Christian education aimed to save our souls. Secular, materialistic education has no time for saving souls, of course, and prefers saving the planet.
For Truth, substitute Opinion – as in, “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and every opinion is equally valid.”
Teach them no manners or etiquette – for that would be “elitist”
Tell them nothing about the history and development of the western tradition of classical music. (This will not be difficult because, after fifty years of comprehensive education, there are very few teachers to be found who know anything about music and many of them will be at Glastonbury anyway).
I don’t say ban such as Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and George Eliot completely, but make sure the children are not overexposed to these Dead White Writers. There are plenty of trashy E-books for kids.
Discontinue competitive games. Provide them instead with computer games
Diet is crucial, so make sure they live on pizzas, burgers, chocolate bars and sugary drinks.
Make sure “the family” – a tenuous concept in any case these days – never sits down to meals together. (Best get rid of the dining table then – if ever you had one).
Give your child his own room and ensure that this is appropriately provided with a TV set. Give him a tablet and a mobile phone and allow him to spend all day and all night peering into these gadgets.
Let’s have none of that old fashioned indoctrination which tries to inculcate mature relational and social habits. Instead, leave them exposed to social media, Facebook, tweeting and twittering. If you do this, you can expect them to be bullied and groomed into teenage Angst, allergies, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive neurosis and, if you’re really successful, full-blown paranoia.
Prevent the development of their intelligence by making sure they never come into contact with challenging ideas. Create for them safe spaces. Teach them daily their right to be offended.
What I have written here is not of course the full curriculum but an outline, at least, of most of what’s required to make sure that our present epidemic of mental illness among young people continues indefinitely.
All views expressed in contributions by named authors are their own and may not reflect the views of The Freedom Association.